another year bites the dust.

2011 was an adventure...

full of wonderful people...

this year came with a lot of

happiness, struggles, change and growth.

but, i am excited to say goodbye to 2011

and welcome in this new year, full of unknown.

2012’s theme :

“figure out what makes you happy and do it”.

Ready set go!

fostering these thoughts.

i write,

i speak,

i pray,

i even attempt

to push them out.

but my mind is still consumed

with my thoughts,

my worries,

my dreams.

…my mind is so full.

there are not enough

empty pages in the world

to foster all my thoughts.

no matter what I tell my mind

it continues to wander.

it wanders and it is lost.

my thoughts taking me near

the edges and cliffs of my mind.

it doesn’t matter how many times i have

promised myself to not let

my thoughts consume me,

there is no stopping them.

people tell me,

“don’t dwell on the past

or you will distract yourself

from the now.”

what i want to know is at what point

does your present become your past?

when do the people of the current

become people of your past?

is it an amount of time that passes by?

is it when that person is no longer by your side?

who decides these things?

one fourth.

and we are officially one fourth of the way there.

yesterday was isaacs sixth month mark.

and i couldn't be more proud...

he's a cute missionary, isn't he?

somedays it feels like it's been eternity since i saw him last,

and other days it feels like he was just here.

and reality is,

he has been gone for as long

as we dated before he left.

life is a crazy thing.

it's always moving,

it stops for nothing.

it's hard letting your heart wait for something

that may never happen;

but it's even harder having your heart let go

when you know its everything you want.

four.

it's already been four years. i can't believe it's been that long.

i can remember perfectly the day i found out about the accident.

i hid under the covers all day long.

i remember when i came to visit you.

i hid in the waiting area of the hospital.

i remember when i found out that you were gone.

i hid in the guest room closet.

i can't believe it's been four years.

i still think about you a lot,

and even more today.

watch over your girls,

they miss you so much.

love you jamie.

crepes & videos.

have a crepe on a sunday evening.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Q3G9mIclGM

friday lights at the rodeo.

night at the rodeo.

rain falls.

i love the rain falling outside my window.

i have a slight obsession with rain.

on the fourth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RmpNGvIXnG4&feature=related

happy fourth of july!

birthday delivery.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1hAr8tBurA

i got the best birthday delivery

from elder joseph isaac pitt

i miss you boy.

old journal entry.

written on august 25, 2009:

so far what i've learned about in life is that it goes on.

everything that happens is for a reason.

things go wrong so you can learn to appreciate them.

And sometimes good things fall apart so that

better things can fall together.

sometimes you will be given situations that

you have no control over.

conquer that, and you can over come anything.

never let an opportunity pass you.

don't let a person pass you without getting to know them.

be nice to everyone, you never know whose

life you may change.

life will give you the people that you don't necessarily

want, but need at that specific time.

everyone in your life has a purpose to be there,

some just leave when they are done.

however, never give up on or forget someone

that you can't go a day thinking about.

because it's true, you never know what

you have until its gone.

learn to appreciate the things that you

have in your life.

never regret someone or something that

once made you smile.

because the past is the past

and there is always tomorrow.

its never too late to change the things that you can,

and be yourself no matter what.

people's opinion's matter but doing what

makes you happy & being with those who make you smile,

thats all you need.

but being happy isn't having everything

in your life be perfect..

and never be afraid of death, only of time,

and not having enough of it.

so make every second count.

find your place in the world, and make your mark,

before you have to leave it.

all that we can do is learn from our mistakes,

love those around us, and live,

because life is what we make it.

give me what i want.

give me a carefree summer

&

the freshest strawberries you've got.

this little girl i know.

she makes me laugh.