another year bites the dust.

2011 was an adventure...

full of wonderful people...

this year came with a lot of

happiness, struggles, change and growth.

but, i am excited to say goodbye to 2011

and welcome in this new year, full of unknown.

2012’s theme :

“figure out what makes you happy and do it”.

Ready set go!

fostering these thoughts.

i write,

i speak,

i pray,

i even attempt

to push them out.

but my mind is still consumed

with my thoughts,

my worries,

my dreams.

…my mind is so full.

there are not enough

empty pages in the world

to foster all my thoughts.

no matter what I tell my mind

it continues to wander.

it wanders and it is lost.

my thoughts taking me near

the edges and cliffs of my mind.

it doesn’t matter how many times i have

promised myself to not let

my thoughts consume me,

there is no stopping them.

people tell me,

“don’t dwell on the past

or you will distract yourself

from the now.”

what i want to know is at what point

does your present become your past?

when do the people of the current

become people of your past?

is it an amount of time that passes by?

is it when that person is no longer by your side?

who decides these things?

one fourth.

and we are officially one fourth of the way there.

yesterday was isaacs sixth month mark.

and i couldn't be more proud...

he's a cute missionary, isn't he?

somedays it feels like it's been eternity since i saw him last,

and other days it feels like he was just here.

and reality is,

he has been gone for as long

as we dated before he left.

life is a crazy thing.

it's always moving,

it stops for nothing.

it's hard letting your heart wait for something

that may never happen;

but it's even harder having your heart let go

when you know its everything you want.